Mixed Episodes Feel Like…

Energized darkness. Pressing the gas, in a car stuck in neutral, in a garage, with the door down. Tired but not sleepy. Fatigued but wide awake. Ideas galore but lack of energy in store to even start one. Memories of ability while reality screams breaking news of chemical incarceration. Unable to answer the common question of “How are you doing today?” Confusion for no apparent reason. Living in a fragile flesh that can tear at the slightest breeze. Dying to remember what feeling good felt like. Wondering how much snow will fall amid this mid-summer night. Thinking how ice melts from the radiant heat of heart fire and head pains. The worst of two worlds in one way of living with a mixed episode.