Abnormal the new Normal

Saw the psychiatrist today. Was willing to up the Abilify for the hallucinations. However, they may have been due to lack of sleep. (4 days). Having a few hallucinations is normal. That’s where I am today. A few is the new normal. So when asked about the Abilify increase I was able to decline. The added side effects could be worse than the few sightings of light things and movers around the room. So I accept the abnormal as the new normal as long as it doesn’t increase more.

So today I learned that I have unconsciously accepted symptoms as a part of life. The reporting from me was constantly lacking since I was able to say I am fine when in actuality I was not. Abnormal does not have to be the new normal especially when the fear of getting worse due to changes falls away. May have to become more uncomfortable before becoming completely comfortable. Perhaps a goal worth shooting for, but not until the abnormal becomes more unbearable. Sad but true.


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